Ballgame
Decided by a collection of losses
And foul playÂ
Walk off homesÂ
These are not your father’s cigarettes or his funerals
His travesties or his tragedies
Born to run got left behind
A fool by design Â
Reoccurring as animal hide
Nothing but teeth Â
Extend a hand he’s right next to you
An unsung friendÂ
You and yours
Our flesh and blood
Those family tapes
Were missing a child
Parental gathering every one of them together watching with a sense of longing
Adolescent amnesia, you cannot remember the words
Sing it with me
Thing is I’ve deconstructed my life
Drank and deported oneself in ways you would not believe
Had no faith, regained, lost it again
Suppose the only thing left in me
Is dying tragically
Sang my woes in small hymns of gasping sorrows
These churchly ohs
Segway to nah nah nah nahs
Hey now, so long
Sayonara
People moving away in the direction of static vibrationÂ
Wedded to this disintegrationÂ
Home video taped over by pornographic imagesÂ
Of hated sons
Takers
Black windows and you saidÂ
I never hurt anyone
Just took what they had to spare
How many meals we have aloneÂ
Make haste slowlyÂ
People shaped ambulances
Eyes all blinking crimson darkÂ
Every word siren songÂ
You’re anteing up and bidding farewellÂ
That person next to you all but slipping
Either the one in the sickbed or cleaning up the slop
Unread words on paper white flagsÂ
It’s all mâchéÂ
Rejecting the eyes of God
Whoever she might be
Anything but what those dials of final resignation seeÂ
Where are the tender ladies with fair hearts and merciful gazesÂ
He sleeps in the bed you madeÂ
Just changing the sheets there’s blood underneathÂ
A mother feels guilt for what’s done
All too late penny stock penanceÂ
People have gone insane
Might be imagining itÂ
Called the church to report a missing people
They were not taking confessions anymore
The good word sparked a belief and a healing
But words never did no good for anybody
We have gone deaf, blind, and dumb
It’s on every pixelated screenÂ
From sea to dimming sea
I think I found another void
Need another universe and not just a planetÂ
Joyless more guns than glitter
Machine sucking monsters
There’s napalm in your teeth Â
When the saints come stumbling in
What will be unrecognizableÂ
Is this disaster in karmic circle
Absolute biological manslaughterÂ
With their deceptive valorÂ
We are all the same bad news
I am quite unimpressed
By your mindless decorationÂ
And characterless exoneration Â
Running home from the gore of fire Â
And hideous uncontrollable laughter Â
Considering the cash it took for the drugs to carry his weight
AÂ debt in lies
He considered a story he once heardÂ
About this great lonesomenessÂ
Turn of phrase a tornado gyre of inattentionÂ
Lost their meaning save demented interpretationsÂ
Guess it’s just a phraseÂ
Like taking life on the chin
For better or for worse painsÂ
I’m talking about you and I’m talking about this
Yeah I’m on about assassinated love
The death of friendshipÂ
There is a critical loneliness
It’s on every cornerÂ
In our hearts hereÂ
RunÂ
Because there’ll never be enough
We all know what’s here to stay and what’s to come
Canonized only by ways we catastrophize
How blind we are to this arms raceÂ
That's taking place
Over everything in a culture
Our souls are sickÂ
Even the gladiators are out of work
This stage turned to cosplay of the implausibly moronic harebrained
Beggars and choosers all the same
The cowboys are as seen on TV and psychological deranged Â
Thick droves of blood coals in too thick realms of ice
When the hour of darkness caves in
Nothing will save you
Somebody let the dead outÂ
It could have been hell
It could have been.
/
ANTHONY GEDELL writes from New Jersey publishing in Hobart, Poverty House, Variant, Revolution John, Punk Noir Magazine, and Bull (forthcoming). His debut novel, Love Lies in the Throes of Rhetoric, is slated for release soon with Michael Dolan at Winding Road Stories.