Lorena giggles when she talks about it being found in the grass.
The cop who originally found it refused to pick it up for religious reasons.
Lorena giggles at that too.
The surgeon who reattached it calls himself a microsurgeon.
He keeps laughing and giving air-quotes as he talks about the procedure.
He describes the procedure as an emergency surgery to repair his dignity.
As in: John Wayne Bobbit’s dignity.
Only in America does a guy named John Wayne Bobbit get famous for abusing his wife so much that his last name becomes synonymous for the ultimate tale of appendage revenge.
They can’t say penis on the radio. They have to say appendage.
John Wayne Bobbit's brother Bud Bobbit says he would’ve killed the bitch if she’d cut off his appendage.
He doesn’t say appendage.
How could John Wayne Bobbit not have realized what was happening? is what everyone wants to know.
An earthquake couldn’t wake me up, John Wayne Bobbit says.
There was a pull, he says, then a jerk.
I thought she was giving me a handjob or blow job, he says.
Before she eventually reveals that her husband had raped and abused her on multiple occasions, Lorena Bobbit initially defends her actions to the police thusly: Because he always have orgasm and he doesn’t wait for me ever to have orgasm. He selfish.
This statement gets recorded and played back during the trial. It does not help her case. It does not help her public portrayal.
In his HBO comedy special, Robin Williams jokes: Maybe she was being abused and she called a friend and the friend said we’ll throw the prick out of the house.
He is seemingly the only comedian to acknowledge her abuse while also acknowledging the hilarity of the situation.
In an interview, Howard Stern tells John Wayne Bobbit that he doesn’t buy this whole rape thing.
She wasn’t that good looking, Stern says. She had a lot of pimples.
I tell you what she needed, Stern tells John Wayne Bobbit. She needed a little of that vitamin Bobbitt.
In an interview with Lorena, Steve Harvey asks, But what made you take it though? When you threw it out the window though, now we got to go find it.
It’s not really a joke so much as an observation. The audience eats it up.
On the Phil Donahue talk show, Phil Donahue gets into an argument with guest Barbara Walters:
Phil: You can argue about women getting abused and still feel this is different.
Barbara: YOU can!
Phil doesn't have anything to say back to that.
The audience eats it up.
Eventually John Wayne Bobbit is charged with rape.
Lorena is charged with malicious wounding.
Somehow the same prosecutor ends up prosecuting them both (though in separate trials).
When asked about it, the prosecutor tells the interviewer: Well, it’s like any other case, you just go with it and do your best.
Then he smiles and licks the inside of his mouth. This is his tic. This is his tell.
When offered a plea bargain, Lorena says, No, I am not a failure. I can’t go back. I want to be an American.
It’s unclear what she means by I can’t go back. There are no threats of deportation.
After listening to John Wayne Bobbit testify, one of the jurors later says: Put on your big boy panties, John, and deal with life.
At one point, the prosecutor asks the jury dramatically: Was it his penis that had caused her the most pain?
At one point the prosecutor asks Lorena what she remembers about that night:
Lorena: I remember all the times he had anal sex with me. I remember everything.
Lawyer: Do you remember cutting his penis off?
Lorena: No, I don’t remember that.
Lawyer: What else do you remember?
Lorena: The next thing I remember I am in the car and I have the knife in my hand and his organ in my other hand.
At one point, one of the lawyers in one of the trials asks John Wayne Bobbit what he remembers about that night:
John Wayne Bobbit says: I remember rolling over on her and then passing out.
The same prosecutor loses both cases.
John Wayne Bobbit is found not guilty.
Lorena is found not guilty due to temporary insanity.
She gets out after forty-five days.
Then everybody loses interest, her fifteen minutes of fame are up.
She falls off the face of the planet.
Or goes into hiding.
It all depends on your perspective.
People remember the act, they forget about the woman.
When asked about Lorena’s aquital, John Wayne Bobbit says: It’s like if someone murdered your loved one and got away with it.
It’s unclear whether it refers to his penis or the crime of cutting off his penis.
John Wayne Bobbit goes on to star in a porn film called Franken Penis.
John Wayne Bobbit goes on to work at a brothel called the Bunny Ranch.
John Wayne Bobbit goes on to get fired from the Bunny Ranch for abusing the Bunnies.
John Wayne Bobbit goes on to declare bankruptcy.
Twenty-five years go by.
The guy from Key and Peele who wrote and directed the psychological thriller/neo-race horror Get Out produces a four-part docuseries.
In the docuseries, John Wayne Bobbit sits in a beat up old stained recliner and sips coffee out of a gas station mega-thermos.
He says, I can kinda relate to Lorena because my father used to get violent and touch my mother.
He says, We had a pedophile uncle and he kind of abused us. We were young and alcohol was involved and he molested some of us. We don’t really talk about it.
He says, Me and Lorena getting back together—that would be the ultimate love story, the ultimate forgiveness... just to bury the hatchet so to speak.
Question: How do you want men to feel about you?
Answer: Well men have to be a little more considerate and respect women.
He laughs forced, knowing laughter, grins big with surprisingly white perfect teeth.
This is how the documentary ends.
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