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First Impression Misfires: Mexican Style / Mark Rogers




photo by Mark Rogers



A friend of ours in Tijuana made an appointment with a psychologist. The therapist was dressed like she was going to a nightclub. Not all that bad. The misfire came during the initial consultation when she got up repeatedly from her chair to get a handful of peanuts from her desk drawer. She'd munch away as the patient talked about his woes.


No second visit to this therapist.


***


A contractor arrived at our house in Mexico to give an estimate for some yard work. He arrived drunk and when Sophy was occupied elsewhere, he urinated against our backyard wall, maybe five feet from our back door. When Sophy yelled at him he whined, “But I really had to go.”


No job for him.


***


I was driving around with Sophy today and she told me a story about an Italian singer named Tiziano Ferro. Seems he was embarking on a concert tour of Mexico.


A journalist asked him a softball question: “What do you think of Mexican women?”

His reply: “They’re ugly and they have mustaches.”


Concerts canceled. Tour derailed. Goodbye, Tiziano! His singing days in Mexico kaput.

What an idiot!


- from the memoir in progress, Fort Rosarito



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MARK ROGERS is a writer and artist whose literary heroes include Charles Bukowski, Willy Vlautin, and Charles Portis. Rogers lives in Baja California, Mexico with his Sinaloa-born wife, Sofia. His award-winning travel journalism has brought him to 56 countries. His crime novels have been published in the U.S. and UK. Uppercut, his memoir of moving to Mexico, is published by Cowboy Jamboree Press. NeoText publishes his Tijuana Novels series and Gray Hunter series. You can reach him at markrogers627@gmail.com.

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